Humor: Eating Dessert First: Illegal?

[Leonie Hauri]

Everyone knows dessert is good. It's even how you remember the difference between 'dessert' and 'desert' (you know, 'dessert has two s's because you want more, but desert has one s because you only want to go there once!')

But everyone also knows that eating dessert isn't...really...the, erm, healthiest for you. So, to our topic: should eating dessert first be illegal?

[Prof. Limine Snidget]

Oh pfft, definitely not! Is dessert the healthiest, of course not, but it shouldn't be illegal! That's just taking it too far. I even think that sometimes dessert is great to eat first because I wouldn't be hungry for it after I finished the actual meal. (Although sometimes I'm way more fond of actual meals than desserts... I haven't been into sweet foods too much lately!)

[Hannah R Thomas]

It is true that dessert isn't the healthiest out there; however, it should never be illegal. Everyone has a sweet tooth every now and then. Leaning towards science, there have been results from studies showing that there are individuals in the world that need more sugar in their system than others...and what better way to get sugar into their system than dessert? Finally, think of dessert as a part of completing someone's meal. There could have been some fruit or carbohydrates within bread that could give a person's comeplete meal

[Jennet Jones]

Even the dessert-first supporters concede that dessert is unhealthy, as seen in their recent posts. To be more specific, simple sugars (and hence dessert) contribute to both heart disease and tooth decay.

Let me refute the opposing claims:

dessert is great to eat first because I wouldn't be hungry for it after I finished the actual meal

This is actually an excellent argument for making eating dessert first illegal. If you eat dessert first, you are likely to eat more of it because you are hungrier. Since dessert is unhealthy, it is obviously preferable to eat less of it for health reasons.

Everyone has a sweet tooth every now and then

Everyone has the urge to strangle annoying people now and then, yet this is no excuse for legalizing strangulation. Occasional urges should not be permitted to influence legislation.

there have been results from studies showing that there are individuals in the world that need more sugar in their system than others...and what better way to get sugar into their system than dessert?

What better way to get sugar into their system? Complex carbohydrates, that's how! The digestive system metabolizes complex carbohydrates like whole grains by breaking them down into simple sugars. This is a gradual process that releases a slow, steady stream of blood sugar over time. Dessert, on the other hand, is made of simple sugars. Simple sugars hit the blood stream right away, causing a sharp spike of too much blood sugar, followed by a crash with not enough blood sugar to supply energy. Complex carbohydrates are much better at maintaining a constant, healthy level of blood sugar than dessert is.

think of dessert as a part of completing someone's meal. There could have been some fruit or carbohydrates within bread that could give a person's comeplete meal

A complete diet is one that meets the caloric needs of the individual, while also maintaining a healthy profile of nutrients like amino acids, vitamins, and minerals. Of these requirements, that only one that sugar could possibly contribute to is raw caloric intake, since sugar has no nutrients whatsoever. Since I have previously shown why complex carbs are superior to sugar as a source of calories, there is no way in which sugar positively contributes to a meal. The only way that dessert can be said to "complete" a meal is the way that a bullet "completed" Archduke Franz Ferdinand's life.

I have clearly established that dessert is harmful to the individual, and that not eating dessert first can reduce the amount of dessert consumed, thereby mitigating the health risk to a degree.

Next I shall demonstrate the dessert consumption has a negative effect on society as a whole, not just the individual, and that the government is therefore justified in regulating it.

Dessert has earlier been demonstrated to contribute to unhealthy conditions like heart disease and tooth decay. These conditions are expensive to treat. In any society where medical care is paid for by anyone other than the individual, that imposes a cost on others. If healthcare is socialized, this burden is imposed on the taxpayers. If healthcare is paid for by private insurance, the cost is paid by everyone else on the insurance plan in the form of higher premiums. Since this is a negative effect imposed on others, it is an area which falls under government jurisdiction.

Moreover, we have ample precedent for government intervention in forms of hedonistic self-destruction that impose a burden on other in the form of smoking regulations. Many governments of all sizes (and indeed, many private property owners as well) have regulated smoking on the grounds that it has a negative impact on others, even if that impact is indirect and less severe than the negative impact on the individual making bad health choices.

Since eating dessert first is bad for both the person eating it and for innocent bystanders who are forced to contribute to someone else's dental bills, the government can and should intervene to make eating dessert first illegal. There is even precedent to support it.

[Prof. Limine Snidget]

Jennet, if you propose making eating dessert first illegal, how would you plan on making sure people followed this law?

[Kim Alting]

I like your reminder for dessert and desert :p two times s cause you want more, lol.

No, it is not illegal. I would say we make this the new standard. First eating desserts, and when there is some room left begin with the rest and not the other way around. Sometimes I am already stuffed, and that is a pity.
I also had the idea of an all-dessert restaurant. No normal food, just desserts...

[Prof. Will Lestrange]

Personally, I will eat food in increasing order of tastiness, saving the most delicious bits of a course (or the tastiest course) for last! Most of the time, dessert is the best tasting part of the meal, if only by design, which means naturally it should be eaten last to give me something to look forward to.
(For what it's worth, if I know I can't eat everything, I still end up eating in increasing order, but skip a few of the worse-tasting bits to ensure I still get to end my meal with the most delicious).

This is why I insist on my food NOT taken away until I'm actually finished; nine times out of ten, whatever is left is likely the stuff I had been looking forward to all meal. On the other hand, others have different preferences and don't understand any of this. Some of them actually eat the tastiest stuff first, which is something I do not understand ("Life is uncertain" according to some shirts?) but just because I don't understand others' preferences doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed to act on them!

[Adeline Morior]

I disagree that dessert isn't the healthiest. There are plenty of desserts baked, fired or frozen made with love from healthy and tasty treats. I would however state that it is entirely possible to eat dessert first. I myself once went to a buffet banquet and started my evening with dessert first, dinner second and starters last. You would be surprised at how satisfying that would be. Depends entirely whether you are a sweet tooth or savory lover. For the sweet tooth, eat your fill and end it off with something to balance the palet. Savory lovers would eat dessert quickly to get to the yummy salty treats.

[Alyanna Azheera]

Nope. Eating dessert first not Illegal, whether it's eat first or not, dessert is dessert. But, in every restaurant dessert eat after main course, so better if eating dessert at last. Sweet things on dessert make you full faster if you eat at first. Dessert is healthy as long as you consume it enough not too much.

[Maeve Madden]

By golly, eating dessert first should not be illegal! For me personally, I love eating dessert last. It’s my favourite part of any meal, and to end the meal on a high note makes me very happy. I can leave the table feeling fulfilled. As my grandfather always says, “dessert is a psychological end to any meal”. Eating dessert last also allows me to fill up on food that is better for me first, like those wretched vegetables! Although I do like vegetables sometimes, for some reason I very much dislike eating vegetables at a meal. Now, there are times when having dessert first is a must for me. When I’ve had a particularly bad day, or just need to change things up, I have dessert first and the main meal second. So no, eating dessert first should definitely not be illegal; I would very much be guilty (and gladly)!